What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
