Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
