So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
