it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
