I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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