VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
