youre lurking in front of me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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