Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
