My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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