there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize