What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
