is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
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For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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