and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
