i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
