He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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