I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
