I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
