today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
