We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
