I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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