Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
