when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize