Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
