I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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