People with herpes should wear stickers.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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