Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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