U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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