Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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