also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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