NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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