yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize