what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
