My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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