I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
