I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize