There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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