i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
