I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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