I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
