I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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