i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
