I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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