i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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