Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
