12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
