I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
