I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you had me at cake vodka
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let's get the cat blown out
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
