Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
