i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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