Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
