Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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