he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
