hotel room ftw
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize