it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
