dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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