So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I currently don't understand fingers.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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