Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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