Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
