So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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