Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
