The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
