We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's rum buckets o'clock
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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