Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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