i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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