You're completely useless in the revolution.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
